Porcelina of the Vast Oceans (misskittykat) wrote,
Porcelina of the Vast Oceans

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Bored out of my skull.

I'm so bored at work I can hardly keep awake. It's very rare for me to be bored on my job. I'm so used to feeling overwhelmed by the heaping pile of shit I have to do - it's such an odd feeling to be bored.

I also have a suggestion that I could never tell anyone in my firm - you can make a person work a steady 60 hours a week for months on end, but the reality of it is that your brain only functions productively for maybe 50 or so hours a week. Not getting enough sleep, not having much time to do anything but the necessities daily and working every fucking day of the week but Sunday makes you more or less (a little more than less) a complete fucking zombie. I'm here. I'm at work but sometimes I do the zombie glare... Because I am fucking tired and worn out on this schedule. Kevin asks me if I'm happy with my job - I am. This is still 1,000 times better than other auditing jobs... But that it just the thing, this is my profession I have chosen for myself. "Busy season" is mandatory. That is just how it is. There is no getting around it - you just have to get over it.

I feel like things in my life have come very easy to me but at the same time I feel like the stress is aging me quickly. What I mean by that comment is - I've always worked extreme hours to get the grades I did, I had multiple jobs at once while being a full time student so ... It's shitty but I'm not missing my social life because I'm used to this aspect of not having time for anyone. So I have not had trouble adjusting. But this stress is catching up with me. My eyes have trouble focusing sometimes because I'm staring at these fucking screens for 11 hours a day, six days a week. But at the same time, I've bought a house, I'm about to buy a brand new car (and it will be completely paid off when I drive it off the lot)... So, I don't feel sorry for myself. I guess I just want to vent.

I miss so many people. I only keep in touch via phone calls anymore. I see Kevin only because he's got keys to my house & he's waiting for me when I get home. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to see him either.

All I can say is - I can't wait for April.... Does anyone have some open weekends in April? Let's make plans to do something terribly dangerous & fun. I need it.
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